THE SCRIPT/THE STORY - Part 3
New love and old love, remembering the Tufted Shag, Chesty is murdered
| Sammy plays sax (instrumental version of 'Nowhere To Run') | |
| Anna: | That was really ..... really ..... nice. |
| Sammy: | Er, I just made it up right now you know |
| Anna: | Really, wow ! |
| Sammy: | You know em, I think you inspire me. |
| Anna: | Gosh, wow! No-one's ever said that to me before. So, do you know something ? |
| Sammy: | What ? |
| Anna: | The Slingback Killings Sammy, do you know anything ? |
| Sammy: | Not really. I mean I knew them. They were all acts here, like Buffy and Vulva. They were both twins. Jack helped them out when their family business fell through. You know, until they met Jack, all they could do was yodel ! You know they are saying that I'm going to be next, but I'm not scared. Jack will look after me, he promised. He said I'm going right to the top ! So eh, no um, I don't really know anything, except that it's nice having someone to talk to. Do you mind ? |
| Anna: | No, no, not at all. I mean, I suppose as a Space Vixen, my inner strength allows you to open up and expose your real self. And you seem, well you seem really .... nice. I just love your instrument .... it just seems to come alive in your hands. And I love the way that feels .... just to watch I mean ! You know Sammy, you really have a very rare gift. |
| Sammy: | Oh, really ? |
| Anna: | Really, I mean you're just so lucky. All you need is a little encouragement. We all do, no matter who we are. |
| Sammy: | Even a Space Vixen ? |
| Anna: | Even a Space Vixen. |
| Sammy: | Well, you're wonderful, if that's any help. |
| Anna: | Really ? Sammy, can I ask you something ? |
| Sammy: | Sure. |
| Anna: | What star-sign are you ? |
| Sammy: | Oh, Virgo. |
| Anna: | Oh good ! I was afraid you'd be a Pisces, and I'm allergic to sea-food. You know Sammy, I've got this real thing for .... sax. Will you play for me ? |
| Sammy: | OK |
| Sammy starts to play. | |
| Jack: | Hey ! You do realise I'm not paying you any extra for that. |
| Sammy: | Sure Jack, I was just .... em practising. You said I could have my own spot next week. |
| Jack: | I don't believe I promised anything. |
| Sammy: | Oh you did, and you said 'and that's a promise'. |
| Jack: | I say many things Sammy. You must learn not to be so trusting. Especially with that nasty killer on the loose. It could be the end of you. Do you understand ? |
| Sammy: | Sure Jack, em I'm sorry. |
| Jack: | Good ! Now, play on. |
| Sammy plays just one note | |
| Jack: | Now get off ! I've got a guest. |
| Sammy leaves disappointed. | |
| Jack: | (To Jubilee) Well, well ! Long time, no see. |
| Jubilee: | Cliched as ever ! Looks like you landed on your feet. |
| Jack: | Likewise ! Your own little trio ? |
| Jubilee: | And I get to keep the costume |
| Jack: | Though white is hardly your colour |
| Jubilee: | Same old Jack, trying to keep the best lines for yourself. |
| Jack: | It's been ten years ! |
| Jubilee: | I know. |
| Jack: | I thought you were dead ! |
| Jubilee: | I hoped you were |
| Jack: | You should have known better. |
| Jubilee: | I do now. They must never know. |
| Jack: | What ? |
| Jubilee: | About us ! I've changed Jack. Reinvented myself. My past, Honey Tipps is dead. |
| Jack: | Long live Jubilee Climax ! We were a great team. |
| Jubilee: | I don't think so. Tell me about the victims, I believe you knew them well. |
| Jack: | (Laughs) They were delightful girls. So giving, so innocent. I'm hardly surprised they came to harm. I tried to warn them. Space is a dirty place, full of dirty people. Ready to take you to the skies one minute, and drop you through the fiery rings of Saturn the next. |
| Jubilee: | That's all very poetic Jack, but it's not what I asked. I'll get straight to the point. Do you still have those sequinned shoes ? |
| Jack: | (Laughs) Don't be ridiculous. You can't possibly be suggesting that I am the Slingback Killer. |
| Jubilee: | I'm just doing my job Jack. No need to get so teensy-weensy about it all. Get me .... |
| Jack: | .... a double ? Just like the old days. I know what makes you tick. |
| Jubilee: | Justice, whisky and disco. |
| Jack: | Not necessarily in that order. |
| Jubilee: | Quite ! |
| Jack: | You know, I still find you most enticing. |
| Jubilee: | Good, then the ball's in my court, and I don't intend to let it stray. I am a woman of duty now Jack. I am a leader and Space Vixen. I am true to all women, and do my damnedest not to let them down. Idle flattery does nothing for me. My mind rules my heart. I need someone who will give me respect, independence, love and good head, and I don't think that's too much for anyone to ask. Goodnight. |
| Jack: | Wait, wait ! I didn't mean to be so .... predatory. |
| Jubilee: | Was that an apology ? |
| Jack: | I think so, but don't tell anyone, I might lose my reputation. You know, Honey em, Jubilee, I think I've met my match. |
| Jubilee: | It's not often I give a man a second chance. |
| Jack: | But you'll try ? |
| Jubilee: | I don't believe I promised anything. Isn't that the best way Jack ? |
| Jack: | I could be myself with you. |
| Jubilee: | Give me time, and you never know your luck. |
| Jack: | It's got nothing to do with luck. Let's get away from here. |
| Jubilee: | Where would we go ? |
| Jack: | Eh ? Wherever you take me. You lead, I'll follow. |
| Jubilee: | Just like old times ? |
| Jack: | Just like old times. |
| Song : Lets Make Magic | |
| **** Jack's dream - Jack remembers his show on Clitvar Pier**** | |
| An odd looking compere stumbles on to stage | |
| Compere: | Um. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to the Tufted Shag. Yes, now Clitvar Pier's Grand World of Illusion . Now on our show tonight we have a very talented young man, so if you'll all just put your hands together, and give a warm, clammy welcome to .... Mister Saucy Jack and Honey Tipps. |
| Jack: | Thank you, thank you, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, residents of Clitvar, I thank you. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to present one of the most exciting illusions ever to appear on the end of Clitvar Pier. The incredible 'Chamber of Disappearance' |
| Audience: | Ooooo. |
| Jack: | Oh yes. And to help me with tonight's illusion, ladies and gentlemen, would you please welcome on stage, my delightful assistant, plucked from rural obscurity by my own fair hand, for your enjoyment, and of course for mine, the delightful, the delectable, the sequinned lady herself, Miss Honey Tipps ! |
| Honey enters the stage | |
| Compere: | Clap ladies and gentlemen, clap.... |
| Jack: | Alright give it a twirl, give it a twirl. There are of course, no back passages used here, ladies and gentlemen. |
| Compere: | Oh shame ! |
| Honey enters the Chamber of Disappearance, and Jack closes the door | |
| Jack: | And now, I wave my wand, twice, and behold ! |
| Jack opens the door, and Honey has disappeared. | |
| Compere: | Ooo, it's magic ladies and gentlemen. It's cheap, but it's magic ! |
| Jack: | And now for the most dangerous part of this illusion ladies and gentlemen, the re-appearance. I wave my wand three times. Then, I give you Miss Honey Tipps ! |
| Jack re-opens the door and Honey steps out of the chamber holding her shoes. | |
| Compere: | Oooo it's amazing, yes. Let's hear it once more, for those talented young love-birds, Mister Saucy Jack and Miss Honey Tipps, yes. |
| Jack and Honey kiss. | |
| Honey: | I'll be upstairs Jack .... don't forget your wand. |
| Honey exits, leaving Jack holding one of her red sequinned shoes. | |
| **** Jack's dream ends **** | |
| Back at Saucy Jacks. Jack is on his own, or so he thinks. Chesty appears holding the other red sequinned shoe. | |
| Chesty: | Looking for a pair .... Jack ? |
| Jack: | Can I help you ? You must be lost. |
| Chesty: | I was out changing my oil, and I found this, dripping with blood, and screaming your style. |
| Jack: | I don't know what you're talking about Chesty. |
| Chesty: | I'm talking about murder, Jacky. Grisly murder .... and tacky footwear. Right, this is what we're going to do. You will sign the club over to me. I will forget it all, and give you back your best heels. You can take my bike and get the funk out of here to another planet. Nobody ever hears of Saucy Jack again, he just .... disappeared. Easy as pie. Or .... I could take my little bedtime story to the Space Vixens, and leave you to their tender mercies. Castration ! |
| Jack: | .... by the power of disco (laughs) |
| Chesty: | Well, what do you say Jack ? The choice is yours. |
| Jack: | Such wit ... from one so cheap. (Jack and Chesty both laugh). So I killed them all, big deal, they were nothing. Bleeding me dry. Begging me to make something of their miserable lives. Never a thought for me. Me, me ! Just betrayal. Swayed by the merest whiff of celebrity. I think it's only fair to take back what was rightfully mine. I gave them life, but I'll take it back. And there's really nothing, nothing you can do. |
| Chesty: | I, am one tough talking, space smuggling, bitch. And I won't be going down without a fight. |
| Chesty breaks free and grabs the slingbacks from the table, brandishing them threateningly. | |
| Jack: | Time do die ! |
| Jack approaches Chesty and throws star-dust in her face. A fight starts, and eventually Jack grabs the shoe, and plunges it into Chesty's chest. | |
| Chesty: | You won't get away with this ! You murdering space freak ! |
| Chesty struggles, but then lies still. | |
| Jack: | It's not my fault by the way. It's just .... the way ..... I am. |
| Song: I'm Just A Tortured Plaything. | |
| Second Interval |
| On to next page | This page last amended 03.02.01 | Back To Story Page |